Honda Civic Type R, BMW M2, Nissan 300ZX: The Dopest Cars I Found For Sale Online

Look, everyone wants a 22b. I get it. But you can’t afford a 22b, so you’re stuck with bargain bin WRXes. This is usually a terrible fate, given that every WRX has been destroyed by at least three owners in various ways, but we can make the best of your economic situation here.

Is rust good? No. Is a random assortment of colors on the front end ideal? Not at all. But this wagon does claim a “built STi engine,” Brembo brakes, and a six-speed swap — not bad for the price. The rust is just weight reduction, right?

The John Cooper Works is, really, closer to the top of the performance hierarchy. How much further up are you going to get in the Mini lineup? How much more are you getting for under $10,000?

This JCW does claim its fair share of miles, but how much damage has mileage ever done to a German interpretation of a British car? It’s fine. Nothing’s wrong here.

When I bought my ill-fated Miata, I hadn’t really been shopping for Miatas. I’d actually been looking for a Civic Si like this — I even had one, in this color, that I tried to bargain down before giving up.

You can live the dreams I never got to with this Si. Sure, it has a salvage title, but how else do you plan to afford this kind of pure, unmatched performance? Seriously, look at EM1 Civic prices. They’re absurd.

This, though, is what you’re really looking for — the Type R, the very Fast and Furious looking FK8 that marked the first generation Type R to arrive on our shores. It’s also, without exaggeration, one of the top few cars I’ve ever driven.

Admittedly, this strays a bit from our budget-tuner mindset. This Type R is for sale from a dealer, meaning you can work out a payment situation a little more easily, but it’s also just nice to get a reminder of the genuine article.

The Volkswagen Golf R is a great daily driver. Comfortable, quick, practical — everything you want for the stop-and-go commute in and the long, winding drive home.

Remember Jesse’s Jetta? The one that lost a drag race to an S2000? Somehow, I can’t imagine the same fate would befall this all-wheel-drive turbocharged Vee Dub. If you want to know for sure, though, I guess you’ll just have to buy the car and see.

Kawasaki recently introduced a new Ninja 500, as a replacement for the entry-level 400. There was a time, though, when the 500 was the upgrade option — it was something you worked your way up to. Now, of course, those old bikes have some very approachable price tags.

Was there a Ninja in The Fast And The Furious? Johnny Tran’s crew rode sportbikes, and at least one dual sport, so it’s entirely possible one of them had a Kawi. Let me have this one.

Brian’s F-150 Lightning is one of the cooler trucks of all time. Can you imagine that as your company car, for your parts-slinging business? We all dreamed of sleeping in the back room of a tuner shop, right? Someone please agree with me.

This B2200 is, famously, not an F-150 Lightning. It is, however, a reasonably-priced pickup truck — one that’s smaller than the Ford could ever hope to be. If you close your eyes, you can pretend it’s the Lightning. Or the back room of the tuner shop. Either works.

The BMW 318ti is not the BMW most folks want. It has its defenders, of course, but most people want an M badge on their 3-series. Or an M-Sport badge. Or a trunk.

You’re not getting any of that for $4,000, though. Let’s be real here.$4,000 is getting you this manual-transmission Ti, and very little else. After you’ve got the chassis, you can save up and M-swap it. Eventually. Someday.

To remind you of what you’re aspiring to, though, here’s a gorgeous M2 in Long Beach Blue. It’s the good car, in the good color, with some admittedly oversized wheels and a questionable alignment. You can fix all that, though. It’d be a lot easier than swapping the Ti.

I still think that this is one of the better-looking M cars ever made. It’s so smoothed-over, so devoid of styling elements for styling elements’ sake. One of the few BMWs to look great to me on release, that never started looking bad with age.

You want a 190E Evo. I get it. We all want a 190E Evo. But real 190E Evos cost more money than has ever existed, and none of us are ever going to get our hands on that. What some of us can scrape together, though, is $4,000 for a broken base 190E.

Yes, okay, it’s broken. But it’s a distributor issue, according to the seller, which means it can’t be terrible to fix. Worst case scenario, just swap the whole component out. Surely Mercedes still makes them, right?

I have to admit — I’m a little disappointed by this FTR. Most of these bikes are art pieces, absolutely gorgeous in their design and proportions, and this just... isn’t. There’s one simple reason why: This FTR is so monochrome.

When you see an FTR in that classic red, it’s beautiful. When it’s done up in all black, you start to notice the radiator sticking out past the tank. You see the turn signals, the frame sliders. If you buy this, swap out the tank panels for red ones.

This might be as furious as we get for this week’s Dopest — a red and gold, turbocharged, ’90s JDM import with a big wing and aftermarket lighting. T-tops are kind of like the Supra’s targa top, so long as you aren’t actually trying to climb out onto a semi truck.

For the observant among you, yes, this is a proper JDM import — right-hand drive, badged as a Fairlady Z, intake piping done up with those blue connectors that every JDM turbo car seems to have. Why are those so popular over there? Why blue, specifically?

Speaking of right-hand-drive turbo two-doors, here’s the second Starlet in recent memory on Dopest. This one, though, is built to a spec unlike that prior car. NRG wheel, Bride seats, rollcage, suspension, RPF1s — it’s a track toy.

This is probably my favorite level of “built car” — still totally usable as a regular car, but fully prepared for track events. This Starlet must be an absolute riot to hoon around, and I truly hope a Jalop gets to experience it next.

I don’t think the Fast and Furious movies ever featured a Sambar. Not to my recollection, anyway. I’m sure you can find one in the background of Tokyo Drift somewhere, passing through an intersection, but that’s not a featured car. doesn’t count.

Tokyo Drift did have that weird Volkswagen that Twinkie drove, though. It was green, like this Sambar Dias, but had none of these chromed-out retro looks. The rear end on tis Sambar even looks like the Hulk crunched it in, so that’s gotta count for something.

Triumph Bonnevilles are just too dang expensive on Marketplace. Even the older carbureted models are wildly overpriced, and they’re all just riding on the Bonnie name. We deserve better.

We deserve bikes like this, which get the Bonnie looks without the Bonnie price. Drop those bars down to something flatter, shorten the front fender, and you’ll have a gorgeous-looking bike on your hands for under five grand. What’s better than that?